Clarity? … What is that ?

This post is inspired by my friend's life partner - Gus .

For as long as I have been focusing on personal development, life experience and even journaling, the one word that pops up day and daily is - clarity.

As my number of birthdays suggest, I am 51 yet my inner child is still in the belief that I am 16 it has been more than a struggle or a challenge to find clarity on what my life should be, or where I should be in life at this stage.

We can kid ourselves into believing that we do not need to compare ourselves to others yet the reality is that in my case at least I feel like I was born comparing myself to others. I now find myself in a place where I am trying so damn hard to only compare myself to who I was yesterday . Cliché? Of course , but who cares , this is my story, I get to choose- right ? Yes, right up until the next social media post, news report, movie or even seeing an old friend .

Which brings us tumbling straight back to clarity and that haunting word that interrupts my thought process. How do I get this clarity that everyone seems to talk endlessly about and they know so much about it . Do I just need to wait for another birthday and suddenly poof just by magic I too will get it mixed between my birthday gifts ?

Perhaps Prince Charming is going to gallop in on his white stallion sweep me off my feet and present it to me with the promise of my happily ever after? I think not. After deliberating for many years, thinking so much that my brain hurts and getting upset with my inner child for not being mature enough to understand.

Hello Gus. In just one sentence he works out all of my doubts on clarity. Someone suddenly makes sense. Almost like he worked this out for me and in return I had my clarity. He said something along the lines of " I have been so focused on taking care of what needs done , I never had time or needed clarity." And that my friends is reality.

Life happens for us not to us ( thank you Tony Robbins) is so true. Sometimes people come into our lives at the right time, to teach us something that we need and at other times to teach us what we don't need.

I think clarity comes when we need to find it. For most of us life happens, we take care of each day as it comes. We don't look at what we have achieved or the challenges we have faced.

Friends, family, peers and colleagues may see how we have helped their lives on individual levels but we never give ourselves the credit we so deserve, but rest assured we are the first to criticise ourselves for our failures, or feel laden with guilt when we have not accomplished that last item on the to do list.

The clarity of what we want from life, who we think we should be or even what we had expected at whatever stage in life we are currently at always seems to be postponed until tomorrow, yet in my experience tomorrow never comes. So what are we waiting for?

What holds us back from planning the life we want for ourselves and potentially those around us? What is that one thing that pushes us to find an excuse as to why we don't do it ?

FEAR!! We are all afraid of something. For each of us the answer is different. What is your fear ? Take some time and think carefully for a while on that question because our first instinct is to say " I don't have any fear, or I'm not afraid." So dig deep.

What am I afraid of ? I think my biggest fear is of rejection. That is what holds me back from every decision- what's yours ?

When we ask ourselves what we want, I'm sure there are lots of things we want and they will depend on a variety of different aspects of our lives, health, wealth, relationships, career, leisure, each will have its own goal, but if we took just one, health for example, if we ask the same question, what do you want healthwise, or what do you want that would give you a better life with regard to your health, I could bet a months salary that you would spit out more than 50 reasons or explanations of what you do not want and still not be clear on what you do want .

Today is the day that we flip the switch. We begin to focus on what we do want . We find our own clarity. Energy flows where focus goes. Focus on what you want . Tell yourself it is yours. Take the necessary steps to create that dream no matter how out of reach it may appear. Trick your mind into believing that it is so. This for me is true clarity.

Thank you Gus.

Xx Lei

CLARITY IS THE MOMENT WE SEE WITHOUT OPENING OUR EYES - Stephanie Banks