Do you feel unappreciated ?

It has been one of those weeks, or is it one of those months in fact one of those days except that currently it feels like one of those days every day. You know the ones I mean, where all blame and fingers point directly at you, even when it is nothing to do with you. You weren't even there, you don't remember or what are they even talking about ?

This is not a senior moment, you have not lost your mind. This is my life, is it yours too? It feels like as women we are constantly trying to fix someone else's problem, dilema or drama and in doing so we land ourselves in the soup so to speak. Can you relate? Or is this simply a me issue?

The mother of adult children, it seems to me that as they mature they want to involve me less and less in their lives, they don't want conversation, they don't want to have the same relationship they once did as teens, but yet that all fades into insignificance when they need help or assistance to dig themselves out of the very deep hole they fell into. When help is required somehow it is laid on my shoulders.

This is not a tale of woe or regret for my role within the family unit, however when the finger starts pointing and blame is the only dish on the menu, then yes this is where the overwhelm and feeling of dereliction sets in. Not only do they want to blame someone else, they want to escape all responsibility. And as if the feeling of blame isn't bad enough from them, involving other family members does nothing to aid my lack of support and feeling of desertion, in fact the situation snowballs.

My mindset and my thought on any challenge in life is that of resolution. I do not like confrontation and I totally do not like feeling that cold shoulder or the slamming door, the icy atmosphere is one I will avoid at all costs. I do not want to condemn anyone, I am not interested in who should have done what or when. All I want are the facts, what is the issue and how can we resolve it.

As Mothers we sacrifice so much, we sacrifice our youth, we sacrifice our love, we sacrifice our time and in some cases we even sacrifice our lives for our children, yet what do we get in return? A Mother's sacrifice is not a regret. A Mothers sacrifice is never discussed and quite often is hidden from the outside world. We are all very aware of it yet we are never given a thought with regard to it.

Our children are too busy growing into their own characters and very often our partners are so engrossed in what they need that we are left exasperated and drained by the expectations that life has placed on us to even care.

When we get to this chapter in the adventure we call life we begin to evaluate and realize that to gain the recognition we crave, we must look within. The one person that will be with us from the cradle to the grave is ourselves. Why do we need others to acknowledge all that we are? The answer is that we don't. Giving to ourselves all that we expect from others is just as special.

Falling in love with who we are can have just as much impact, if we let it. Looking in the mirror and appreciating the reflection looking back can open us up to a whole new world of opportunities. If we can learn to love who we are, our mindset completely changes and when that happens strangely all the people around us also change their perspective of who we are.

Suddenly that feeling of isolation, the need for space, the need for change can become a thing of the past , or perhaps it becomes stronger and we find the confidence to step out into our own spotlight and make huge decisions that we are faced with for a more purposeful fulfilling life.

xx Lei

I AM ME, NOTHING MORE AND NOTHING LESS, AND THAT IS ENOUGH - HARPREET M DAYAL