Good Grief

When we think about grief it always brings to mind , funerals, weeping widows, painful scenes of people who have lost someone close to them. No words are necessary, looking at their sorrowful faces paints a picture of a thousand words.

What if I said that this is only a small part of grief? What if I said that we can grieve for something rather than someone and no I'm not talking about your favourite pet.

The definition of grief is - deep and poignant distress caused by or as if by bereavement, a feeling of loss, a cause of great suffering.

Therefore we grieve when we have lost something and we overcome our grief when we find something to replace or fill the gap in our lives. We are not replacing the person if we are referring to grieving for a loved one we are merely filling the void that we feel they left.

However, what if we are unknowingly grieving for happiness in our life or another thing rather than a person, is the pain the same?

When we feel unhappy or unhappiness we very often think that something or someone will fill that void and make us happy. "I'll be happy when I find Mr/Ms right." "I'll be happy when I win the lottery." "I'll be happy when I lose the extra 20lbs." "I'll be happy when I close this deal." "I'll be happy when I get the promotion."

We give the responsibility of being happy to so many things and when it doesn't work out we have something else to blame.

The truth is that we MUST, unequivocally without a doubt find happiness from within ourselves.

We must take responsibility for our own happiness. Happiness can not be bought nor can it be gifted to us. We must look within ourselves and find the things in our lives that make us happy, only we can know what they are because they are unique to each of us. We must not give the ability to anyone else to take this great gift from us.

Only when we find our own true happiness from within can we begin to share it with another.

All of the excuses and reasons why we are not happy can be used to support our desire and accelerate us into a position of acceptance of our own happiness. Therefore regardless of the challenges life throws at us, our happiness is not dependant on the scores of reasons we give ourselves for happiness.

We will inevitably from time to time feel sad, sorrowful or even unhappy but we can always go back to the memory that we carry and remember that we have the power and the ability to retrieve our own happiness without the need to rely on anyone else.

Happiness truly is within us all.

xxLei

BEING HAPPY IS A VERY PERSONAL THING AND IT REALLY HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH ANYONE ELSE - Esther Hicks