How to Improve self esteem as we age

I refuse to be defined by the number of birthday candles on my cake, or the now glittering silver highlights that adorn my crown, or even by the laugh lines that twinkle when I smile. All of these are trade marks of a life lived and experience gained.

No matter how much I deny the fact that I am no longer 21, the truth is to the outside world I am, and with that whispered, I am becoming very aware of the fact that my self confidence and self esteem does seem to be a lot lower than it once was.

It seems to me that at this wonderful epoch in life, there are many reasons for that. Changes in body shape, life changing events , a life time of negative comments from peers and family, perhaps the old saying of "older and wiser" have come to haunt me, although the truth is that I think I was born sensible so perhaps that also has led to a more withdrawn personality as I have begun to accept that I am creeping into the realms of midlife.

Does that mean that I (we) must accept this new found low self esteem? Are we destined to slowly shrink into acceptance of old age defining us? I think not, now is the time that we decide what the next phase of our lives should be, must be. Every day is another opportunity to grow, another opportunity to explore life and another moment to become who we always thought we should be.

As young women we were fearless. We had no obstacles in our way, we had huge dreams, perhaps we had no responsibilities, but we also had no idea how our dreams would become our reality, that did not seem to matter, we didn't need the blue print because we had the belief and that is all that we needed. A vision of a one day or someday. Once we lost that, that is when we began the process of the downward spiral to self sabotage on the way to low self esteem.

So how do we crawl our way back? What can we do to fight the fears we have created in our own minds? How do we engage with our younger selves in an effort to raise our self esteem and give us our confidence back?

• Build on existing relationships

• Learn new skills

• Repel negative self talk

• Practice gratitude

• Treat yourself

• If necessary ask for help

There are no right or wrong answers, we are unique individuals, the answer for each of us is different. My answer is a journal, yours could be something completely different, regardless of what it is, sometimes it is helpful to find an accountability partner to share your break through's and also your challenges, choose wisely though, you need people around you who will inspire you, not tease you or bring you down further.

My Journal prompts to fight through the negative talk for today are -

• How can I be more gentle with myself ?

• What am I afraid of today?

• What made me proud today?

• What lessons did I learn today?

Good luck with climbing back , one little change per day is all it takes.

xx Lei

THE MOST BEAUTIFUL THING YOU CAN WEAR IS CONFIDENCE - Blake Lively