No is not an answer it is an opportunity.

How often have you asked a question and the response was no ? How often have your built up the courage to step into the spotlight , danced out of your comfort zone to be told no? How often have you felt that you aren't good enough simply because someone else's opinion of you was different? How often have you showed up for an interview or a meeting to be told no you aren't a good fit?

We feel that the problem lies squarely with us when in actual fact it could just as easily be that the other person / company or business is not a good fit for us. We accept their opinion as not only a reflexion of us, our flaws or our personality but as a statement all about our character. We do not argue or try to speak up for ourselves because that apparently is inappropriate in this situation, we accept their idea about who we are and we only got to speak for 30 minutes answering questions that were quite possibly not a reflexion of us but a reflexion on what they expected.

When the word no is offered we need to realise that this is not a character assassination it is an opportunity for us to explore a new idea. We have been granted a new opportunity, an opportunity to broaden our horizon and realise that this position was not a good fit for us. It is not so much that they did not want us but rather that we deserve better. That a new door is waiting to be opened up to us and that this moment in time was nothing more than a stepping stone to a new opportunity.

No is not a negative response, it is an awakening, a realisation that the time is not correct, we must learn to open our minds and look for the lesson to be learned from this experience. This is not an easy position to be in nor is it easy to find the positive in this situation, but when we take time to reflect and dissect the moment we understand how this moment had to be postponed because in some way it was not the right time for us and that life happens for us not to us.

when was the last time you heard no? Did it make you more determined or did it make you build up your barriers and return into yourself for protection? Perhaps next time you will remember the words of JLo - NO IS NOT AN ANSWER IT IS AN OPPORTUNITY.

XX Lei