The adventure from age to the unknown.

When did I get to become this old? Did I wake up and suddenly be a senior? I feel like my life passed by in the blink of an eye. I've never really thought about age or the process of getting older, to me it's something that happens, it creeps up on us, without us realising, but because I have never actually felt my age I haven't noticed it.

However it is a stark reminder that I am aging when my children see me as old or bring it to my attention, then it becomes unavoidable.

Perhaps the fact that I never saw my Mother as old even on her death bed she seemed too young to be leaving me and I certainly felt too young to be loosing her.

Yet the fact remains, life goes on, time moves on and it is beyond my control to change that.

I have to embrace this changing phase in my life, accept that changing hormones are changing my body. I am fighting back hard so that even when she changes how I look to the outside world the real me, my inner goddess remains the same.

Trying desperately to remain as the caring person I believe I have always been. Trying desperately to love the woman I am becoming, embracing the aging process and being grateful for everyday that I am privileged to be on this earth.

So many have not been so fortunate, yet here I am complaining because my children judge me.

They see me as the woman who is older, which I guess is as it should be. It would seem pretty ridiculous if I looked younger than my daughters. I have always proclaimed that I didn't mind looking my age but that I did not want to look older than my years . Have I unknowingly manifested the appearance that stares back from the mirror. Who is she?

My dress code, my morals, my personality are what make me unique, so why am I fighting so hard against the forces of nature? I think it is now time that I embrace me. That I become grateful for all that I am and all that I am yet to become.

They say that love conquers all, time that I learned to love me. To respect who I am, to enjoy this period in life with all the changes that I am experiencing. I need to be present in the moment, welcoming the change, if I am so focused on the younger me I may lose the opportunity to embrace the here and now. Change is not always a demon, sometimes she is an angel.

Change can be healing. A way forward into a new chapter in life. passing into a space of reflexion and gratitude for all of the lessons learned so far and for all that life is yet to teach me.

Midlife is not the end of life it is the beginning of a new phase, a phase where the rules have changed. A time where I am no longer pleasing everyone else. I am now in a phase where I am using all the skills I have learned, and making life about how I want it to be. The only rule that I live by is the fact that there are no rules. I live as I choose. I'm finally at the crossroads, where only I get to navigate. I program the GPS, steer my own ship. My world is vast and I am sailing uncharted waters, yet the adventure excites me.

My age does not define me. The adventures I have yet to experience are simply new stories that I get to tell. My past stories on the journey of life were the foundations laid by the life I have led so far. The future begins today, no boundaries, no rules and no commitments. A road not yet travelled. Feel free to join me on the next phase of the adventure .

xx Lei

IF HAPPINESS IS THE GOAL - AND IT SHOULD BE - THEN ADVENTURES SHOULD BE A TOP PRIORITY - Richard Branson