The solo Chronicles

The words solo living have always filled my mind with a cottage in the woods, Hansel and Gretel style and some lonely old woman living in seclusion with a wood burner to cook upon and only the company of the birds and the bees in a desolate forest . Memories of childhood stories haunt my mind with images of sadness and loneliness.

However, fast forward more years than I would care to admit to and solo living means something completely different. To be honest solo living does not even mean living alone , for me it is an adventure into a life of discovery. A place in time where I get to grow and discover parts of myself that I never knew existed.

Solo living is an adventurous journey of looking closely in the mirror and looking deep not only into my eyes but into my soul. Asking the difficult questions that up until this moment I have hidden from. Answering the questions that if someone else asked me I would leave the room and bury myself in a pile of tissues feeling sorry for myself and my inability to be honest with myself.

Solo living is more than self discovery, it is challenging me , it is coming out from under the covers of my life and taking responsibility for all that I have hidden from. It is facing my fears, taking responsibility for every choice, dream , desire or failure that I have made in the past 50+ years. It is acknowledging that being the yes girl did nothing for me, it did not allow me to grow , it did not give me self respect nor respect from others, it made me a choice not a priority, it made me predictable not spontaneous, it earned me the title of being not adventurous perhaps boring.

All of the titles that have been given to me where unrecognisable to the teen I once was. Where did the time slip to ? When did the thought process of being too young to do this or that suddenly become too old to get away with that now, somewhere along that path I suddenly became her, that woman that now stares back from the mirror, the one whom I do not recognise, the one who agrees to everyone else' plans and seldom follows through with the plans, and goals she sets for herself.

Solo living is not about delving into the past with regret and settling for the fact that the plan altered somewhere along the lines and giving into it . It is not about accepting that I am now at a stage in life where I missed the boat on the big adventure.

Solo living is about taking back the reigns , it is not about being unkind to those around me rather it is about acknowledging that it is not about me first and more about me too. It is about taking the time to now create a new adventure, being motivated, disciplined , focused, and determined to slide into midlife on the crest of a wave, not letting the ocean of life pull me along with the current but taking control of the situation in a way that serves me and makes me the best version of myself, when I look in the mirror that reflection will make me proud of who I have become, it will make me smile and say we did it , not frown and think of all the missed opportunities.

Solo living is about taking command of our own ship once again accepting that life has many climbs and dives, it is not meant to be flawless, we are supposed to learn from the lessons that life throws us, but we also need to prepare for them, solo living is learning from those lessons and creating new systems to help us navigate that journey. A journey of love, respect , and harmony for ourselves.

xx Lei

SOME JOURNEYS TAKE YOU FARTHER FROM WHERE YOU COME FROM, BUT CLOSER TO WHERE YOU BELONG - Ron Franscell