Guilty Pleasures

If you think this is a Jamie Dornan infused 50 shades of lust kind of post, please keep on scrolling, this is not for you. If however you are in a transformational stage in your life and realising that you are way too hard on yourself, then please stay.

Have you ever sat back and thought about how much pressure we put on ourselves to be that perfect woman? We have such high expectations of ourselves, we want the career to be successful, the home to sit like something that fell out of a magazine, the children with perfect manners and A* students, any less is not good enough, we demand the disney prince/ princess as our partner, even our friendships need to look like a scene from Friends.

As if all of that isn't enough, when we find that special five minutes to sit and have a coffee and perhaps read a page or two of a book or magazine, someone simply asks what we are reading and already that pang of guilt has crept in. We drop everything, get to our feet and begin looking for the next chore to be completed. Why is that ?

Is this some lesson that we have learned as young women, that it is forbidden for us to take a break if anything needs to be done? How come even if we have completed a hundred jobs in the day , that one thing we didn't get to makes us feel lazy, unaccomplished and a disappointment to our family?

Is this an expectation from family members? or is it pressure we put on ourselves and struggle to live up to? or has it simply been a lesson learned by watching our own mothers try to meet their own expectations of themselves ?

Regardless of where this lesson came from, it is one that we must aim to release ourselves from. We are not robots, we are not maids and we are not the only person with the responsibility to take care of everything.

We must learn that making ourselves a priority is beyond crucial. Our personal health and wellbeing is not a betrayal of our role as Mother, Wife or Partner. Our mental health wellbeing is an integral part of being able to support the family unit. Who takes care of all that you do, if you are so exhausted that you can't?

Taking time for you is not a guilty pleasure. Taking time for you is not a chore. Taking time for you is not a dash when no one else is looking. Taking time for you is not a tomorrow dream. Taking time for you is not a goal for the future.

Taking time to re-connect with yourself, finding space to realise how wonderful you are, taking time to feel that you are worthy of this time alone with you, is not some kind of woo woo out there unrealistic desire, it is the most important decision that we all must make.

We make time for our partners, creating special moments for them. We run to the ends of the earth creating adventures for our children. We organise and schedule family time with our parents and extended families and even friends, but how many of us actually stop to think of ourselves? When was the last time you did something totally for you? Why do we wait for someone else to buy us gifts or tell us we're special, and when it doesn't happen we get upset and moody? We do not need to wait. Fall in love with yourself. Make yourself happy. Have a guilty pleasure date with you, without feeling guilty. You are worth it.

xx Lei

MY GUILTY PLEASURE IS THAT I NEVER FEEL GUILTY ABOUT PLEASURE - Anon