NO COMMENT

"How are things with you?", "Is everything going well with work?"

When we ask this question we expect to have a running commentary of all that is going wrong or right at any given moment.

However, when we receive the response of "no comment." How do we respond?

No comment is code for "so much, but I don't want to talk about it."

When we come face to face with that person who has closed themselves off to discussion it can be difficult to find a pathway back.

If someone is asking "How are things with you?" In general they already know that there is an issue to be addressed, as do you.

Closing up, hiding from the elephant in the room so to speak is avoiding the issue. It is not resolving the problem and it is a recipe for disaster.

Holding onto a grievance or letting problems build within can only lead to more issues. Open dialogue working through the problem step by step is the logical answer to rectifying this situation.

However you can bring the horse to water but you can not make her drink it.

So what are the steps to follow?

1. Empathise

So often as managers we tend to overwhelm our staff members, the fact that we have called them to a meeting, is sufficient to make them nervous, this is not where we need them to be if we are trying to resolve a problem for them or that they have created.

We need to find a neutral place. Find somewhere they get a sense that we are on their side. To empathise does not show that we are weak, it makes us human and we ease the nervousness of the staff member.

We must make them feel that we understand that this is a difficult situation to confront, and that we totally share their apprehension, but that we only want to help them resolve the issue to make their time at work easier and more enjoyable.

2. Explain

Explain your position. Show them that although you empathise with them, that this is not how your business works. Explain the ethics of the team. The importance of each team member and the job they fulfil. How even the most insignificant member can make the biggest difference to the balance of the team. How every part of the team is like a family member, how we grow together and we can fall together, that we don't leave anyone behind.

We all must work together to resolve any issue no matter how big or small. We understand that not everyone will get along 100% of the time, this is unimportant, what is important however is how we overcome our issues and grow from it. We are not about pointing fingers and blaming we are about addressing the problem and resolving it amicably to make our place of work , a place that we want to come to , to have pride in our job and all that we invest in our work.

3. Possible solutions

If at this stage there is still no movement, the staff member still does not want to discuss, there can only be one solution. Give them space. Give them options. They will respond better if they don't necessarily have to talk face to face. In this age of technology especially for younger staff members, talking via text works better for them. Make sure you are always available to them. And always show compassion even if the issue is delicate.

xx Lei